So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
