I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
