I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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