I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you win again, gameday.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize