Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
