You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
