EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
