Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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