fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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