oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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