Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
