Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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