Dual....:-)
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
