I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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