Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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