I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
