so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
