I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so let's talk penis.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my poor anus
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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