maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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