Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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