I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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