Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
