Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
