The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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