He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
