did you get engaged???
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
