the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
