would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Randomize