at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
