The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
