I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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