Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
