I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
