meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
