i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
