I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
