I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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