I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
