On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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