Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize