Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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