Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
