I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
how does that bad decision feel?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
