check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
