I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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