Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
