I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
