Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
