Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
this just has baby written all over it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
