He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
