It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i've created a new STD.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
