Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
