Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
