Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
