My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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