I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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