I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
