JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
