It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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