I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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