And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
