My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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