my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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