Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize