girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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