Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
