As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
