Sacagawea was the original milf.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
