my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize