Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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