Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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