I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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